when love and hate collide

So I'm taking a class on Literature of the American Renaissance.
(Remember the last post? Same class)
And the last few days we've been reading The Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass
And I have honestly had the hardest time reading it.
Because Frederick had a terribly hard life.
He was a slave for years and was hated by so many people.
And there was this wonderful point that my professor made that I can't get out of my head:

Love your enemies. Hating them is only a manifestation that you have more in common with them than differences and is an insurance that you will eventually become them. Focusing on your enemy and the hatred you feel for them brings forth the worst version of yourself.

Because HOW TRUE IS THAT STATEMENT??
You can't concentrate on how much you hate someone and expect to end up as the bigger person.
I think I may be starting to love this class........
WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?!
I'm learning so many things and appreciating literature even more than I did before
(Which I didn't think was possible..... at all. Because I already love it way too much)
My professor constantly tells us that we need to read and re-read and re-read books and search for the different meanings that the text will hold each time we read it.
It's too true. And I want to re-read this story 1,000,000 times over.
Because it's that good.
You need to read it. That is, if you want your life to be changed forever.

Welllllllll.... That was awkward.

Here's a good story for ya:
I haven't been to one of my classes in roughly a month.
It's a particularly boring class.
I don't like Nathaniel Hawthorne. It's as simple as that.
Annnnnywayyyyyyy.... All was going well.
I had forgotten that I was even in that class.
Until I ran into my teacher in the hall today,
made SUPER awkward eye contact,
and proceeded to be stared at until I got up to leave.
It's an awkward situation and now I can't decide if I should keep avoiding the class....
Or if I should go and just be like "OH HEY IT'S BEEN A WHILE!"
I'm giving you my permission to use this story to make your life seem a lot better.
You're welcome.

16 ways to know you've hit ROCK BOTTOM

You know you've hit rock bottom when:

1. The only way you eat a decent meal is when the guys at work buy you a pizza.
2. You spend more time at work than anywhere else.... COMBINED. 
3. You can't remember the last time you had a phone conversation that didn't start with "Would you mind if I recorded this conversation?"
4. The workers at Taco Bell in UVU already recognize you even though it's only been there for 2 months. 
5. You go to that Taco Bell at least 6 million times a week. 
6. You sit at home ALL DAY LONG to watch Breaking Bad
7. You stay up until 3 in the morning watching Breaking Bad in spite of the fact that you have to wake up 4 hours later.
8. You plan your day around when you get to take a nap
9. You also plan your day around when it's acceptable to get a Dr. Pepper
10. Every single day you wake up and all you want to do is put on an oversized sweater and some jeans and let your hair do what it wants instead of what you want it to do, and 9 times out of 10 you do because you just don't care enough.
11. Because you don't care enough, you look homeless and scare people off.  
12. You eat some chocolate then look down at your shirt and think there's a bug on you... just to find out: "Nope. It's more chocolate."
13. Showering is a chore because then you have to start ALL OVER AGAIN. The whole process: dry your hair, put on some make up, make yourself look good. But then you remember that because you look homeless, you most likely smell that way too. So showering is probably a good idea.
14. You realize that you hate every single human on Earth, probably because they're the worst. 
15. You long for the days that you were in high school because all you did was school and you didn't have to work (there has to be something wrong with that, right)? 
16. You get a paycheck and you're stoked that you get to be that much closer to being out of debt (dang Europe).

Lets face it. 

These things aren't so bad. 

And I think that watching Breaking Bad is a good use of my entire day.

What can I say?

I'm obsessed.
And, hey, at least I have a job.
And chocolate is delightful and it's a total relief when you find out that the "bug" was actually chocolate.
Plus like... being homeless has it's perks. You don't have to answer to anyone. No. I like having a home. I'm sorry. I just lost my mind for a second.
And I loved Europe more than anything and I would gladly put myself further in debt to go back.
I suppose I haven't hit rock bottom.
Wait. No. Yes I have.

XOXO,
Sam

P.S. I promised my friend Sven his name would be in this blog post so..... SVEN. Sven give me some more good music. Thanks. 

Back to Life, Back to Reality

Ok... we're down to blogging about real life.
Cause I swear... going to Europe was a dream.
It didn't really happen.
I'm in a daze lately about that.

But here's what I've done since I've been home

1. Like... I landed in Utah and was way too thrilled to be home with my family.... and then I spent the next two days being thrilled still. And then... I wanted to go back. I was done with Utah. Done. And I felt like I wasn't doing anything. It was way weird knowing there weren't any museums or fantastic sites within walking distance. 
2. I started back at pretty little PMI and discovered that my hours had been severely cut back, which was annoying. But good news. My peeps were all still there and so that was way happy.
3. I started school again. And I must say that UVU has gotten a lot more crowded than I am comfortable with. Parking is worse than you would even imagine but hey.. I'm doing just fine cause I go to institute and get to pay a mere $5 for the entire 4 years I attend school.
4. Sooo I'm taking 4 English classes. Call me crazy. Go ahead. Seriously. Do it. Cause I know I am. I'm nuts. Certifiable even.
5. I am currently working on finding an internship abroad. So if you know anyone who works at or owns a publishing company/theatre/bookshop in or around the greater London area... help a girl out. 
6. I am seriously planning on going back to Dublin for either spring break or right after the semester ends. Feel free to join me. The more the merrier. 

So in short, my life is the same as it used to be. But is still so different. I love Europe. And, you mark my words, I will go back. I WILL live there. 

Now let me just tell you the things I miss more than anything since I landed in Salt Lake City:

1. Peeps. I miss being able to go out to the kitchen and hang out with Chels, Kasee, Shelb, and Jess. I miss being able to just go up a few more death stairs and hang out with Brando, Tayler, and Stephen. I hate more than anything that we have to plan to hang out with each other like 3 weeks in advance. Plus I miss the peeps of London! They were all just too too nice. 
2. Pret. Seriously. I crave it everyday. That lemon cheesecake happiness... it haunts me. 
3. Markets. I love searching for and buying records and antiques in Utah, but it just doesn't have the same appeal. 
4. Weather. Seriously. It was always so cool, which is my dream weather. If you know me at all, you know I HATE the heat with everything that I am. Rainy, cloudy, and cold weather is my dream. 
5. EVERYTHING. I really just miss everything. That's all it comes down to. 

Fine. I'll stop talking about it. 

I'm sorry. 

I'm over it. I'm moving on. 

XOXO,

Sam

Venezia

So I went to Venice too.
It ain't no big thang
I rode a gondola.
So I'm crossing that off my bucket list.
Plus the guy rowing looked slightly like Alex Karev from Grey's Anatomy.
So.... I was definitely swooning.

Aren't my friends the cutest?
Isn't Venice beautiful?
Don't you think that gondola man is just a heartthrob?
YEEEAAAHHHHH.... I think so too.

Firenze

Soooo... I uh.... I went to Florence. 

And the entire time I was there I was thinking "WHAAAAA?!"

You want to see it?

Ok.

I could not have picked a better group of girls to go to Florence with.
I could not have picked a better group of girls to really go anywhere with.
We had such a blast.
Let me tell you about the train ride in.
It was the easiest thing.
Besides the luggage part.
But traveling with 6 other girls that you just love is a piece of cake.
And our hotel was un-freaking-real.
Used to be a castle.
Plus the guy at the desk liked us so he gave us the best room in the place.
I think our entire flat from London could have fit in there.
BUT...... the wifi wasn't free.... so... oops. Sorry Florence that's your downside.
I wish I could have spent more time in Florence.
Mostly because I wish I would have been able to experience the Ufizzi Gallery.
Sadly, I didn't.
But... I did get to climb up a mountain and look at the city from the Piazzale Michelangelo.

And then I couldn't believe where I was
And I couldn't believe who I was with.
And on the way up the mountain I was the happiest and all the girls were just happy and willing to keep climbing higher and higher. It was so motivational and I could probably do some speeches on it and learn a bunch of lessons and stuff from it.
Florence is beautiful and I SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY wish we had more time there but the two days was so wonderful that I can't even explain it.
I had some delicious gelato and even better pizza (seriously. Florence has the best pizza on the planet).
And I bought some leather stuff.
And I died and went to heaven I think.
But then we tried to walk down a street and the military yelled at us.
This is real life.
And then we found a fruit stand and I had the best peach and plum of my life.
Sooooo there's that.
But I WILL go back there someday.
You mark my words.

Now go and find a place you love too too much.
Experience the world.

XOXO,
Sam

The Last Day in Roma.

I don't know if it can get much better than admiring beautiful sculptures followed by going to a beach in Italy!
The Borghese gallery...
There are no words.
Unfortunately no photos were allowed, otherwise I would show you just a small sample of what I witnessed there.
It was the most beautiful thing in my life.
And I might have shed a tear or two.
They even have Caravaggio paintings there.
If you're any sort of an art history buff, you would know what this means. Seriously you guys.
Unfortunately I only had about 2 hours there (I could have spent an entire day in this small gallery).
WE WERE HEADED TO THE BEACH!
Sperlonga to be exact.
We weren't able to go to Cinque Terre so we went to Sperlonga.
And to be honest, I'm not sure if anywhere in the world could be more perfect (besides maybe the UK).
I know all of you who have experienced Cinque Terre are probably cursing me right now.
But here's what I have to say to you: "I'm OVER IT"
Sperlonga was beautiful.
However, the process of getting there was a nightmare.
The walk back to the metro was longer than I remembered when walking TO the gallery.
But we made it and then we had to get in an elevator.
NO. NEVER AGAIN.
I thought that elevator would be my final resting place.
It was moving so slowly and it was about 10,000 degrees in there.
Then the metro was SOO crowded and 3 of our group members didn't get to the train in time.
So we all watched them fade into the crowds on the platform like every cliche movie you've seen with a train scene.
And then there's the actual train station where we were to board our train to Sperlonga.
I am not exaggerating when I say that our train smelled like a zoo.
It was awful.
And we thought that there would be a few seats throughout the train.
No. None.
We stood the entire time.
Well... I didn't.
I think that my group members knew I was in an awful mood so they let me sit in one of the seats for the last few minutes of the ride.
We FINALLY got to our stop and then had to wait for the bus, which seemed like it was taking 3 hours.
And still there was no sign of our friends we had to leave at the metro.
Then. We got off the bus.
And we saw the beach.
And we all wanted to cry cause we were FINALLY there.
Then we got to the beach.
And we saw this.
(apologies for the bad quality iPhone photos)

And this

And I was in love with the Mediterranean.
And then about 9 Italians came up to us girls and started chatting with us. Well they tried to.
Their English was very broken.
Didn't really know how to say much of anything more than "hello"
Besides maybe "you eyes shine with the light from the sun" that is not a lie. One of them really said that to one of the girls.
Direct Lizzie quote.
We did find out they were from Naples.
And one of them went by the name of Luigi.
That's not a joke.
Then we found our friends.
They had made it to the beach and we were all THRILLED.
Unfortunately, one of them had been robbed so that sucked.
We stayed for about 3 hours and then we had to make our escape.
Luckily for us, the ride home was a breeze.
Except for the part when we thought the train was closing up shop for the night because we were sitting at one of the stops for roughly 30 minutes with the lights off and everyone on the train had gotten off.
It's a possibility that the Italians were only running the train to the stop we wanted because there were 13 American's still sitting there chatting to each other. In hindsight, I realize we probably looked insane.  Just chatting with each other in the dark. On a stopped train. With no one else on board.
Oops.
When we finally reached our stop we rushed to the metro and crossed paths with the smallest human I have ever laid eyes on.
He was so tiny and I was so scared.
Plus he had a skateboard.
And when he talked he sounded like a chipmunk.
Kasee and I looked at each other and took off running cause we thought for sure he was a demon that was going to catch up with us on his skateboard.
It was so scary.
But, we made it home safely and all was well.
'Twas a fabulous last day in Roma.

on an evening in roma.

Let the record show that I experienced heaven on Earth on July 17, 2013.
Let me fill you in on the exact parameters.
The Trevi Fountain at night..... You've gotta be kidding me.
So magical.
Getting a fake Prada bag for next to nothing. Haggling is my calling.
Watching full grown men freak out, pack up, and leave because a cop comes around the corner is the most hilarious.
L'Archetto has the best pasta on this planet and the best service.
I mean like... the waiter braided my hair. It was slightly unnerving but also pretty marvelous. He was too kind.
And this song was on my mind the whole time

I'm sorry I probably got you all hyped up for this post. 

It's actually pretty boring. 

But that picture is rad, right?

XOXO,
Sam

Trevi Travi Trovi

The Trevi Fountain is my favorite thing in Rome.
I think that should be all I say in this post.

JUST LOOK AT IT

You better believe I kept my eye out for Paolo the Italian pop sensation (Lizzie moment). But he didn't come.
I guess just being at the Trevi would have to be enough. And it was. It really really was.
Plus there was a gelato place that had pretty okay gelato (I had better whilst in Rome) that has a really scary scary guy that owns it. He's terrifying and yells at you if you don't choose what you want in a matter of 2 seconds.

So this is the first place we went on this day and it was honestly a dream come true.
I threw in three coins and so now I'm destined to go back.
HOLLA!
After we left the Trevi (it was the hardest thing for me to do) we headed over to the Pantheon.
So there's that.

It was so cool and I really couldn't believe where I was.
I had another one of those moments. Another one of those "I-need-to-go-and-hide-under-a-rock-and-never-come-out" moments.
But then I realized it was an incredible thing again.
Seriously you guys. I can't take how perfect Rome is.
And it's about to get even more perfect.
There's this place in Rome dedicated to cats.
You read that right.
CATS.
It's called the cat sanctuary.
And here's this bit of information: while we were on the metro to the Trevi Nate (professor) came up to me and said "Are you ready?!" to which I responded "YEAH! For what?" he looked at me like I was nuts and maybe a little hilarious? I hope so. Then he said "For the cats! We're going to see the cats today!" I about had a heart attack. SOOOO EXCITED!
Here's some photos of the sanctuary for your viewing pleasure.

Seriously, no humans are allowed in those ruins.
And both of those little babies loved me.
One of them only had one lung and the other was far too nice and cute.
I wanted to take them home and then I realized I still had another week and a half in Italy... Not so fun for a little baby kitty.
After the sanctuary we shopped a little, got some real pizza, and then.... went back to the hotel.
Later that night we went back to the Trevi (it's even more magical at night) and searched for a place to eat dinner.
Stay tuned. That's a post by itself.

Have a splendid day.
Smell a rose, pet a kitty, smile at people.

Love you all.

XOXO
Sam

Gladiator in Training

Well here we go.
Getting a little further down the road to completing this dang blogging about Europe thing.
We're on the third day in Rome.

So...
First we headed to the Colosseum.
Could you believe the metro stop for the Colosseum is Colosseo?
Crazy right?
Seriously though. You walk out of the metro and there it is.
You walk out of the metro and you see this:

You can ignore that person's head at the bottom of the photo.
Anyway.
It seriously is unreal.
You walk into the Colosseum and you see this:

And if you go in the middle of July you almost pass out because it's so hot. 

But then you realize where you are... and you realize how many people have seen this same thing and you do the Lizzie McGuire dance and you can't help but sing "This Is What Dreams Are Made Of" cause really. It is.

And then it really hits you. 

Soooo many people before you have sat in this place and watched the gladiators fight.

And you think you should be a gladiator too.

And as you're thinking about a career in gladiator-ing, looking at where you'll be fighting other gladiators, you might start freaking out.

I'm warning you right now.

If you go to the Colosseum, and I strongly recommend it, you need to stop and really appreciate where you are. 

It's overwhelmingly beautiful and big and you feel so small in comparison. 

You might even come to the conclusion that this place is not only a part of your life, but even more, you are merely a short part of it's life. 

I know that sounds crazy, but stay with me. 

Imagine how many stories this place could tell. 

Imagine all of the people and things that place has seen. 

The idea that this place has outlived many generations before you only points you to conclude that it is going to survive long past your life. Whoa. Heavy.

I don't mean to get super serious on you guys, but honestly it's the most magical realization. EVER.

It will make you want to run and crawl under a rock and hide and never come out at first but after the freak out, after the hyperventilating you will fall in love with it. 

It will absolutely consume you and I promise it's the best. 

Stop and really pay attention to where you are at every place you go in Rome or really anywhere you go. 

APPRECIATE THE WORLD AROUND YOU, DANG IT! 

Plus it helps to go with the best people you know. 

Annnnnnywayyyyy...

After the Colosseum we headed over to the Forums. 

They were so pretty but honestly I couldn't even think straight because I was certain I was melting. 

And then we went to Trajan's column and I saw the cutest old man playing his guitar. 

He was SOO Italian. 

After oo-ing and aw-ing over his music and talking to a very nice British girl who told me that my teeth were perfect and how I was fitting the stereotype of American's, we headed to a church to see Michelangelo's Moses. 

Holy cow was that thing beautiful. 

Just look at him. 

And this doesn't do it justice. 

At. All.

We then headed back to the hotel to take a little nap before we planned on venturing back to the Colosseum to see it all lit up. 

We got some pizza and gelato and were asked "do you want some weeds?" to which I responded "NO."

Apparently all of those years of "Just Say No" had prepared me for this moment. 

I didn't even hesitate. Well done, teachers. Well done. 

And then we got there. 

And the Colosseum is even more breathtaking in the evening. 

It certainly helped that a very handsome Italian man was walking next to me for a while. Mmmhmmm. 

It was a delight. 

Here's a photo.

SHOCKER!

Now. 

Go and appreciate your life. 

Appreciate the world around you. 

XOXO,

Sam