Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Vati-cans, Vati-can'ts

My second day in Rome was exponentially better than the first.
Which was a total shocker.
Because the first day was incredible.
So... Let me start from the beginning.
We got up, went down to the continental breakfast (which is WAY better in Italy by the way), & ventured down to the Vatican.
So this post is going to be constructed of stories of the various CAN'S and CAN'T'S of the very center of Catholicism.
Get ready. This may include some funny stories, some aggravating stories, and maybe some boring ones.

You CAN (and will) get hit on by various Italian men if you're a tourist with long blonde hair.

Here is where my first story comes in.
We had almost made it to the Vatican without getting hit on by anyone.
It was going to be such an accomplishment. 
The Vatican Museum is in my sights, I was freaking out over all of the artwork I was going to see honestly not thinking about anything else, I was incredibly hot because the only dress/skirt I brought was black and it was like 1000 degrees.
But then, just as we were about to cross the street, I was stopped by a tall Italian man who said "You. Are. BEAUTIFUL."
I would have been flattered if not for his long greasy black hair, his creepy smile, and his general slimy demeanor. 
All I said was "Uhhhhhhh...... Thanks." And then I quickly ran across the street (almost got hit by a car too).
But then I looked up and saw this and all was right with the world.

You CAN'T wear anything that will expose your shoulders or knees.

Keep this in mind if you ever happen to be in Rome and want to go to the Vatican Museum.
They will NOT let you in if you're immodest in any way.
But here's another story for you lot
Our appointment for the tour wasn't for a while so we had serious time to kill. 2.5 hours to be exact.
So... we looked for an ATM and got some gelato and were having a wonderful time. 
Then a crazy looking man came up to us and asked if we were going to the Vatican.
(Keep in mind there were 5 of us. All wearing modest clothing or had like scarves and sweaters in our bags).
"Yes" said the five of us.
"You can't. Her knees, her shoulders, her knees and shoulders, her shoulders, your shoulders."
"Ok. Thanks. We got it covered" said Sam.
"Her knees, her shoulders, her knees and shoulders, her shoulders, your shoulders."
To the other girls "Let's leave" said Sam.
So we left. We were at a different location. Far from where we previously were. 
Same scary guy comes, this time he's holding scarves. 
"Her knees, her shoulders, her knees and shoulders, her shoulders, your shoulders."
"Ok. Thank you. We have it covered I promise." said Sam.
He said the same thing and then added "You need to buy these."
"Nope. We have it covered. Go away." said Sam.
He finally went away and about 2 minutes later we saw him selling his scarves to a couple of tourists.

You CAN take as many pictures as you want.

No story. Just pictures. 

So cool, huh?

You CAN'T take pictures of the Sistine Chapel. 

But we did.
I know. 
We totally could have gone to jail for it.
Don't tell the Italian higher-up's.
I don't want to go to jail. 
Sorry, no picture. I don't want to get in trouble.
I might be totally paranoid. But whatever. Deal with it.

You CAN see the coolest things on the planet. 

Like... St. Peter's Basilica. 
And guards with fruity little outfits on. 

You CAN'T sell things on the side of the street like fake bags and sunglasses. 

Cause.... well... it's illegal. 
We were walking back to the hotel from the Vatican and well, we saw quite a few of these very street vendors. 
Then a police officer turned the corner and honestly, I have never seen anyone pick up anything so quickly. 
They seriously grabbed all of their stuff and left without saying a word in 5 seconds flat. 
It was the most bizarre thing to see. 
But also the funniest.

You CAN eat delicious food.

You CAN'T have pizza after 3:00 p.m.

We attempted to get some real Italian pizza and it didn't work out so well.
We walked into about 7 million restaurants (really it was only 2) and they each denied us our pizza.
So we settled for ravioli and lasagna.
And it was so worth it cause it was so delicious.

You CAN jump on the beds of your hotel.

So we totally totally did.

Basically that's it, you guys.
More Vati-cans than Vati-can'ts.
Rome = love.
I love love love Rome.


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