Sunday, October 20, 2013

16 ways to know you've hit ROCK BOTTOM

You know you've hit rock bottom when:
  1. The only way you eat a decent meal is when the guys at work buy you a pizza.
  2. You spend more time at work than anywhere else.... COMBINED. 
  3. You can't remember the last time you had a phone conversation that didn't start with "Would you mind if I recorded this conversation?"
  4. The workers at Taco Bell in UVU already recognize you even though it's only been there for 2 months. 
  5. You go to that Taco Bell at least 6 million times a week. 
  6. You sit at home ALL DAY LONG to watch Breaking Bad
  7. You stay up until 3 in the morning watching Breaking Bad in spite of the fact that you have to wake up 4 hours later.
  8. You plan your day around when you get to take a nap
  9. You also plan your day around when it's acceptable to get a Dr. Pepper
  10. Every single day you wake up and all you want to do is put on an oversized sweater and some jeans and let your hair do what it wants instead of what you want it to do, and 9 times out of 10 you do because you just don't care enough.
  11. Because you don't care enough, you look homeless and scare people off.  
  12. You eat some chocolate then look down at your shirt and think there's a bug on you... just to find out: "Nope. It's more chocolate."
  13. Showering is a chore because then you have to start ALL OVER AGAIN. The whole process: dry your hair, put on some make up, make yourself look good. But then you remember that because you look homeless, you most likely smell that way too. So showering is probably a good idea.
  14. You realize that you hate every single human on Earth, probably because they're the worst. 
  15. You long for the days that you were in high school because all you did was school and you didn't have to work (there has to be something wrong with that, right)? 
  16. You get a paycheck and you're stoked that you get to be that much closer to being out of debt (dang Europe).
Lets face it. 
These things aren't so bad. 
And I think that watching Breaking Bad is a good use of my entire day.
What can I say?
I'm obsessed.
And, hey, at least I have a job.
And chocolate is delightful and it's a total relief when you find out that the "bug" was actually chocolate.
Plus like... being homeless has it's perks. You don't have to answer to anyone. No. I like having a home. I'm sorry. I just lost my mind for a second.
And I loved Europe more than anything and I would gladly put myself further in debt to go back.
I suppose I haven't hit rock bottom.
Wait. No. Yes I have.


P.S. I promised my friend Sven his name would be in this blog post so..... SVEN. Sven give me some more good music. Thanks. 

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