Tuesday, September 25, 2012

wanna know something?

I'm gonna let you lovelies in on a little secret.
It's possible that I'm the weirdest human on the planet.
And.. I'm sorry to say that my weirdness is rubbing off on and affecting those around me.

exhibit a:
This past Thursday I went with my mom on a few little errands. And because I was so well-behaved she went with me to this little antique shop I love dearly...
All was going well. We looked at some awesome stuff that I NEED. I HAVE TO HAVE IT! (overreaction, I'm ok with it). And then we found some cutsie stuff that would be way cute in our separate apartments. Such a great outing.. And then I decided I wanted to go to the section on the second level of the shop. As I reached the top of the stairs, I was greeted by this fellow. So weird. So scary. So weird. 
So sorry mom for making this weird situation happen. If you would have been with anyone else... this mannequin most likely wouldn't have been peering around the corner at you..

exhibit b:
My friend Ashlee (Twit, Twitter, BG, Favorite Person) and I decided to take an institute class together again this semester. Only it's a little different this time around. Meaning, we're actually attending.
This semester we're taking dating and courtship, mostly because we need to learn how to get dates. And get courted. The one thing that has been pounded into our heads is: "Make yourself more attractive. Smile more." The only question is what happens if your smile isn't the most attractive thing in the world? Well than, you'll just have to get a new face. Sorry.
So I guess it's not totally weird that Ashlee is showing some weird sam-like tendencies, probably because we're almost basically the same person. But how about this girl in the back? She was pretty normal the whole class... until this picture was snapped. That's when the weird came out.
So I apologize to the girl in the back. I'm sorry that I'm in your institute class thus causing you to do things that you wouldn't normally do.. like make the face in public.

exhibit c:
Recently I've been into kitties. Love them. They're so cuddly! MEOW! And upon taking this institute class (the very class you just read about) I have come to the conclusion that I may not ever get a date... :( Probably because of my weirdness. So I'm going to become the youngest cat lady in history.
History majors will study me. I will go down in infamy. This is what the textbooks will read: "Samantha Abney, the youngest cat lady who ever lived. She gave up hope at 20 and bought 20 cats." or something like that.
I didn't realize that my constant talk of the many kitties would convince others to love them as well.. Poor Ashlee.
I'm sorry that I have talked about cats so much that you want to become a social recluse now too.. Sorry.

 exhibit d:
On Saturday my friend Nicole and I decided to take a spur of the moment trip to the P.C. Park City that is. We had high hopes. We went to Main Street thinking it was the cutest place in the world. We walked into this cute little Bistro to eat some little foodies.
Little did we know that these little foodies would be the nastiest foodies we would ever eat. So gross. Stunk like onions and something I won't say (as it will quite possibly make you stop reading this post and run into your bathroom.. cause you'll be sick).
Anyway.. we quickly went and got some ice cream and ran into this sign that said "Hot Blondie" me being pretty sure of myself... posed for a picture. I'm like.. duh. That's me. They knew I was coming.
So I'm sorry Park City ice cream shop that I can't remember the name of. Sorry for coming to Park City, causing you to write this sign, that you, no doubt, had countless amounts of blondes pose in front of. So so sorry.

exhibit e:
Nicole has been hanging out with me too much.. For some reason, it doesn't even phase her that we are wearing these animal hats. Any sane human would look at me and leave, without a word, leaving me standing awkwardly in the middle of this shop with a deer hat on her head.
She's ok with it. And she also is ok with taking pictures with statues. I promise she wasn't this weird until I moved to Provo in 1st grade.
So I'm sorry Nicole for making you a maniac. You get my condolences.

exhibit f: (last exhibit I promise)
This girl has got to be one of the cutest 5-year old's on the earth. But on Sunday, as I was sitting on my mom's couch acting like a lunatic most likely (I can't really remember what I was doing. Probably because I'm on my death bed with this awful head cold and I was pretty out of it). She found an American Flag, I most likely provided the home with for some weird reason, and starting marching around the room waving the flag saying:
"Come here to see the President! Come here to see the President! Come here to see the President!" I quickly pulled out my camera to take a photo and as soon as she saw it she started yelling:
"Show that to the President! Show that to the President!"
So... I'm sorry Adalie for being the weirdest cousin you have and for doing things and saying things that make you laugh. But you are 5 and so I think there might be hope for you yet. Let's all cross our fingers that you grow up normal. Although, it's not really likely.. cause I'm your relative. Shoot.

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